Staying positive

This is the second time I have written this.  Somehow the first time it didn’t load up.  I will take that as a sign.

Another bout of surgery, at least another week on the couch reading and watching my wonderful crap tv.  The past weeks have been crazy. I have been working long hours at two jobs and have gradually been feeling like I am losing who I am and how I want to be.  And, because for a while I didn’t know whether I was going to have surgery or not (again) I feel like my life has been on hold for months.  For most of this year, I haven’t been able to commit to anything and do many of the things I wanted to do, set in place steps for the future or not be tethered to the hospital.  All in all very frustrating.  So, this time out will give me some time to refocus, centre, and think about how I want to be and more important where I want to be.  I can feel the next year is going to be full of wonderful, big changes.

I don’t know why I am so surprised but I am surrounded by wonderful people in my life.  My nearest and dearest really show their true colours when times are tough.  A has just started a new job so had no leave, and couldn’t spend the morning at the hospital with me.  So my sister took leave and sat with me for five hours when my op got bounced from 8am to 1pm.  She sat there and got bored and annoyed with me.

A made me delicious meals which were delivered with a smile and a lethal thermos of coffee. Wonderful and delicious.  I know hospitals aren’t really in the food business, and they have to feed hundreds of people for hardly any money, but mince and overcooked veg for dinner? Food is such an important part of recovery and care.  Fortunately I have someone who can bring good food in for me.  That is my whinge for the day.

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This was my view as I waited for the bus the other day.  A beautiful, crisp, still spring day and the moon was still out.  This post is all over the place.  A good reflection of where my head is at.  I expect things will start to settle over the next days as I get my head and thoughts sorted.  Ah well, the sun is shining and I have a comfy spot on the couch.  Life could be a whole lot worse.

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